Am standing at what looks like a crossroad, then again it may be a bridge, or even a ladder, hmm…a door too could be am in front of. One thing is for sure, it is the link to my next step. What holds beyond it, is not clear, the specifics are blur right now and I sure do want a clear picture, dare I say a perfect picture.
I could try to make this happen through all the means I know but am not willing to go about it that way. Seems like I want what I want on my terms…hmmm, not the best.

Aah! This is tough, am doing it with my eyes open though. My ways or His? Wow…over the years His ways for me have been the best thing that ever happened to me…but the not knowing has been killing.

Still the ball is mine to dock, which side I take is mine to choose. Hmm… I trust you, I know I can but how do I explain to people what I do not fully understand… there are so many things I’d love to do, you know am a planner yeah… the plans are not unfolding the way I’ve imagined though, yet inspite of all my wants and all, I truly want your best over mine. How do I balance this two? Is there actually a place of balance or it’s me or the other?
Funny, I know what it is…but am still thinking…hope this is not lack of faith, or trust.

Yours, your own O Lord not mine I’d take… help me to forget about the buts that I’ve used to hold me back. Is it to forget or let go of? As I make my choice on which way to go… I let go of the buts, I let go of the plenty thinking that keeps me from stepping out into the unknown. Today I choose to refuse to be a control freak…and embrace being content…hmm, no wrong word, being happy, joyfully actually of letting Him take the wheels.

Dearest Friend, I place my hands in yours…lead me, I sure can’t see the full picture hmmm…but you can, so am leaving it at that. I am doing better than good with thanksgiving to You.
Jesus lead me…

Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call upon heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants m might live. You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying Him, and committing yourself firmly to Him. This is key to your life. And if you love and obey the Lord, you will live long in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Deuteronomy 30:19 & 20

Unpublished work of Itsetosan 23rd July, 2011

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