But He knows the way that I take, when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold Job 23: 10

Test. Trials. Valley walks. Dark nights of the soul. Wilderness sojourns. Are designed to purify me from my motives, thoughts, choices to me actions. Speech and overt choices.

Over the past couple of weeks; dropping into months I have been deeply challenged. There were days I got up to greet the new dawning asking, how did I get here? I have always known that my tests produce beautiful testimonies, that they did not last forever, neither did they kill me. For some reason I simply can’t grasp, I felt “no not this”. Like I can actually choose my test….*sigh*

Most infuriating can be and for me actually is His silence…. seriously I just needed Him to come through. Yet it seemed He chose this time to be still as well. As the days birthed weeks which birthed months, He words came for each step. The aim was a more mature me to prepare me for the next level am moving up to. Though the purifying process is not pleasurable (as though someone said it was) the outcome or reward for learning what I ought is ever golden.

And you shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. Deuteronomy 8:2

“who fed you in the wilderness with manna, which your fathers did not know, that He might humble, you and that He might test you, to do you good in the end— Deuteronomy 8:16

© Itse Tosan 8th August 2012

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