Archives for category: Relationships

It is a beautiful day, it began just right, my normal routine flowing one into the other. So, I danced to the moments, gliding along mindlessly in some tasks, pausing to take notes of details in others.

My first email of the day did not have pleasant feedback but I have decided in my head, I can and will live with it. I just need to ensure I do not get petty afterwards. A path I have chosen to follow, winked at me.

I have been at a place where I have had to make a choice. A choice between two loves. To follow my first choice of career path in Legal or that of admin. Admin comes naturally to me, it is something that has always been a part of my life. I recall the day I knew I had to pick, at least in pursuit of growth in my current dispensation.

The myriad of emotions I battled with was unforeseen, just as the offer to choose came with a huge whack from my blindside. Speaking and writing do help me process my thoughts a whole lot.

Another email came in and my emotions rotated round in a full circle. Livid does not quite capture my rage! Part of the intensity I feel is my not speaking much about it. This bothers on trust issues with possible options to speak with.

I have pet peeves regarding work I deliver. So suddenly discovering by looking at the colleagues’ work, it was but an upgrade version of what I had prior sent in to the requestors. You see I had sent same to this other colleague and had asked him for his input (seeing as we are supposed to be working together). The stalling in responding to me after a few promptings made sense, but it only fuelled me.

How do people dish out what they cannot eat, even if fed in error? This is something that I cannot wrap around my head. Alas! Master these are the people of whom the directive “do good to those who do you evil” is meant for. Writing has given me a measure of release (Already ranted to another colleague). Scribbled someplace else.

God help me, because I sure do need it right about now. The things and people who try my faith! *sigh*. It’s in the following week I would know for sure if I gave the devil a foothold. Peace!

© 9th May, 2018

PS this is me days later (today 31st May, 2018), I still speak less in my office. Thankfully with God by my side I fought (still fight) the urge to be petty and I am winning.

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The tears, laughter, late nights, movies, meals. So many stories have been woven into its fabric. I cannot recall the moment it became my favourite place. It seems we just grew together. One of those pieces never to be let go off.

I have shared my highs and lows, best dressed moments, peejay moments on it. It is just the place to be self-absorbed in a good book. There are patches of spilled drink, somewhere on it, there are drops of tears from a loss to emotions pulled from a movie or just down right pent up emotions that chose their own moment to turn up.
My internal battles have been fought right there.

Once upon a time, upon a couch set in the living room, it was my lounging spot as I spent the day indoors. Though I had so much to say, I said nothing as I often do atimes, with no explanation even to me. I lay on it, staring at the TV but seeing just as far as my thoughts would let me see anything else. I wondered if I could just get away with loving those who made it easy. Howbeit, it was more of a struggle in my head.

Christ would not do that I reasoned but then again, ‘why should I make room for people who deliberately try my patience?’. I cannot demand people behave as I think is right, neither can I withhold that given me to share because it is in my “power” to do so. Abuse of “power” it would be. Child of God is it in Your DNA to love the ‘unlovable’, for while we were yet sinners Christ chose you, He loved you and died for you before you even knew Him.

On the couch I have found my perfect me place, me space. Just lying there has helped me make decisions, some of which I would know for certain in the near future if they are the right choices.

Oh the stories revived by auto correct overriding intent in a group chat.

© 17th May 2018

On Tuesday a Mentor sent me a video, I was reluctant to open it due my ever-constant battle for space on my phone, I did get around to downloading it hours after receipt. It was a beautiful one minute four seconds musical. The details got me, as I took in with my eyes and ears the bits and pieces that put together what seemed like an inconsequential theme soundtrack, I was wowed!

In the moment i realised, that the success, the pride and glory is not in the day the spot light picks you out in a crowd. Truly, it is not in the hour a song becomes a hit, it actual is in the process, the details, the back-end, the moments spent preparing, honing the gifts and what often looks like a dull routine set to keep one depressed with time.

You see for thirty years the Bible is silent about what Jesus was on about. We just did not get to see anything (I doubt He was silent but…). The last we read, let us know he subjected Himself in obedience to Joseph and his mother, increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God. Silent for thirty years He was, then suddenly took the world by storm in His last three years on this side of eternity.

Beauty lies in the details, the seemingly mundane choices we make. Then again, the video reminded me that nothing is mundane, nothing stands alone, no one makes it alone. We all like different parts of the same truck, working together, growing together, we give our fullest light, our warm shade when we put it all together as one piece, one body, one voice, telling of One who is our Father.

In each story, in each poem, in each song I have written I find I have pieces of people I have met all written together with bits of me. The harmony of the song comes from the smiles, the tears, the wait, the challenges walked through.

Look at your ‘mundane’, watch your choices, I am sure looking at my decisions and routines, knowing that as i bring me and others bring them we create something way bigger than each of us. For our details, our varying parts are the real beauty of the ‘finished’ artwork the world encounters daily.

©10th May, 2018

“wowed” – pleasantly surprised

I recall a song from my preteen years: ‘Come ye out now from amongst them, come ye out and be ye separate, says the Lord and touch nothing unclean, come ye out*’

The choice of friends, co-workers, neighbours we make, directly determines the quality of life one would have. Either a life of purpose or one of no purpose. Purpose in the sense of what God has called me to be, do and have. Excluding totally what we may have called ourselves to, or think we are called to.

Come ye out signifies a separation, calling by God unto good works and His purpose.

Abram received such a call. In the place of fully being out from his brethren i.e. Lot, came the word of God to him with the promise to keep in front.

At each point, he took partial steps to come him out, His purpose remained veiled. Thus he walked with a now the Lord had said instruction. The Lord said to Abram resumed upon full compliance with his separation. The ability to heed the call in total obedience was a huge step towards actualising his purpose.
Everyone of us has a come ye out call upon our lives. A call to be used by God for a specific purpose and to a specific people.

We are all vessels, fit and put together for a purpose. In the midst of everyone else, it is easy, oh so easy to flow with the tide and not recognise our purpose differs. In the place of separation, we clearly hear our call and the attendant promise and instruction. We receive our life’s baton when we opt to heed.

Generally, as vessels there is the come ye out from sin, come ye out from the scornful, come ye out of everything unpleasing to God, that ye may be vessels unto honour, fit for the Masters use.

*Song from Happiness Club, UNIPORT Branch.

© 2nd February, 2017

The union (if I may use that word) of any two individuals is important.

Who you walk with is key. Who you run with is key. The outcome of your life and all that concerns you rests on this. How you choose your partners is key too.
Relatives we cannot choose generally but should we decided to work with them, live with them, we have chosen.

More than we might realise, God is interested with whom we partner: – in our businesses, in ministry, in relationships broadly and most definitely marriage.
For each partner, there would be a corresponding instruction and leading. Where to go, who to go the journey with, why you should go the journey together.

God is purposeful, in all of His ways, nothing has ever been done by God without purpose. The partners we pick or are picked by must be ones of purpose. Purpose that gladdens God’s heart, partners that are pleasing unto God, made just for the scenario.
When you think partners, think – suitable, comparative to, equally yoked, helpmeet, approved of God.

© 02 February, 2017

5 and 2
Food for 1
For 5,000 and counting

Knowledge has a beautiful way of colouring ones’ sight. The power of knowledge. Beyond of God all things are possible to another level of I have been empowered to do way, way, much way beyond what I do.
He took
He looked to heaven
He blessed
He brake
He gave

For now, I still ponder: why 50?
You see if there was ever a PURPOSEFUL One that walked the face of this earth at some point – it was Him. Truly he is the One who has walked the face of this earth with steps ladened by purpose.
As He is – We are
AS He is – I am
As He is – I am

Not any less, no, same, equal, co-heirs, siblings…hallelujah!!!

Steps – purpose filled
Sight – coloured with knowledge of who I am.

You see nothing is ever truly not enough. A little is all that’s needed. For I have been blessed, to be fruitful, to multiply, to replenish, to subdue, to have dominion. That’s why the Lord can save whether by many or by a few. A number of conquests in the Old Testament do show He chose to triumph by a few.

The numbers were not to be deterrent but a statement to all. God in 1, God in 2, God with 1, God with 2, there is nothing and no one that can withstand.

To see as He sees, I need to seat more at His feet. You see the more I understand who I am in Him, the more I begin to fully live and function the way I ought.

So I shall check my sight through the washing of His words and allow enlightenment pull down every scale dark and dreary.

© 6th January, 2017

Leaving church on a Wednesday after service, my colleague and I got in her car and proceeded to join the lines exiting church. We noticed one of the gates had no queue or cars, and the other had quite a number of cars waiting to exit it, thus a queue.

We told the cars closest to the free exit gate about the gate but somehow they made no move to turn. After about 10 minutes in the same spot, as we could not move due other cars, we noticed one of the back cars, was now making a move to turn and use the free exit gate.

As we wondered what suddenly informed the decision of the back cars to turn, I told my colleague ‘that’s probably the way God looks at us sometimes and is wondering “how far”? with us.’

There are times God has opened a door for us and we stay fixed looking at another door expecting Him to come through for us that way. For there was a free exit gate and the cars queued to the other and stayed stuck in the traffic we had now created whilst there was a free one behind.

So often we stay stuck where God has not left us, ignoring the way He is leading us by and wondering why He hasn’t come through for us. May God open our eyes to see not daily but per time what He has for us and not get stuck in traffic we have unwittingly created.

17th May, 2015.