Archives for category: Sometimes

The tears, laughter, late nights, movies, meals. So many stories have been woven into its fabric. I cannot recall the moment it became my favourite place. It seems we just grew together. One of those pieces never to be let go off.

I have shared my highs and lows, best dressed moments, peejay moments on it. It is just the place to be self-absorbed in a good book. There are patches of spilled drink, somewhere on it, there are drops of tears from a loss to emotions pulled from a movie or just down right pent up emotions that chose their own moment to turn up.
My internal battles have been fought right there.

Once upon a time, upon a couch set in the living room, it was my lounging spot as I spent the day indoors. Though I had so much to say, I said nothing as I often do atimes, with no explanation even to me. I lay on it, staring at the TV but seeing just as far as my thoughts would let me see anything else. I wondered if I could just get away with loving those who made it easy. Howbeit, it was more of a struggle in my head.

Christ would not do that I reasoned but then again, ‘why should I make room for people who deliberately try my patience?’. I cannot demand people behave as I think is right, neither can I withhold that given me to share because it is in my “power” to do so. Abuse of “power” it would be. Child of God is it in Your DNA to love the ‘unlovable’, for while we were yet sinners Christ chose you, He loved you and died for you before you even knew Him.

On the couch I have found my perfect me place, me space. Just lying there has helped me make decisions, some of which I would know for certain in the near future if they are the right choices.

Oh the stories revived by auto correct overriding intent in a group chat.

© 17th May 2018

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There is so much going on around and within me. I am starring at multiple roads, wondering if work-life balance is truly a reality or myth.

It seems like I have more on my plate at this point in my life than I bargained for. Work, school, off work activities are all suddenly looking a whole lot bigger than I envisaged with each add on.

Surely, I am not wearing myself thin, I can handle it all at once. But my online classes are telling me otherwise with each day I miss my studies. The frequency with which things seem to slip away from me leaves me wondering, if I am really getting the rest I need at night.

I am making conscious efforts to manage, really manage my time. What I do and what I do not do. Today, is good or should I say better, yesterday I practically had to fight to keep my joy and sanity.

So I have told me, I need to step back, a step or two and focus. When I am focused, I get things right, I am leaning on the right Person. My thoughts are collected and not worrisome. Deadlines are met and I have less things screaming for me.
You see when I focus, I look to Him who alone knows me truly and knows what to do with me. In Christ I am stable, sane and sure with less questions. Who I am? Is clear, nor marred.

I am turning away from anything distracting me from looking to Him that I might live and live abundantly. A jump in my weight has not helped me either. Now I ask, have I unwittingly put more importance on my weight than I need do?
There is so much going on around, in and with me these days. Today I take it ALL, each bit, every piece and drop them at His feet. Surely, He knows what to do with them.

© 3rd May, 2018

I am learning, that things are not always how they seem. Then from a physical point of view, the view is always limited to the amount of information one has on any subject matter.

I am learning that the only clear way to judge a matter, to read a matter, to fully understand and appreciate a matter is through God’s view point.

Her husband died,
Her sons died
Surely this was a terrible thing. At this point, all sorts of opinions are given birth to: ranging from she’s a witch to the Lord is wrath with her.

The focus will be the men in her life died.
It likely would ignore the fact that she lives (assumption based on diverse scenarios from Nigeria)
She saw the hand of the Lord. Naomi saw the hand of the Lord. She read it to be against not for.

If the hand was against, why had death passed her for the sons? Why was she ‘chosen’ to live? Why was she alone ‘saved’? the way we read situations, circumstances and people directly influences the choices we make, the decisions we take and the way we relate.

What informs the way we read? Do we pause to question our own conclusions? Do we just read through the views of the acceptable? Do we just flow along?

Naomi had the benefit of hindsight for her reading. Elimelech did not for his reading.
As you read today, tomorrow, the day after and subsequent days, pause and ask yourself – am I reading this right?

I do know of One who can help you read right though. He is just a request away, feel free to ask Him when next you read, His name is Jesus.

© 17th June 2017.

All it took was two wards: it’s okay.
One would have imagined it brought comfort, alas! It brought nothing positive.

Questions were quickly raised in my mind. What is going on? Where is this coming from? I made personal attempts to apply the vantage point principle.

It did not work; the pictures being formed in my mind seemed pretty formidable.
I decided I would not talk about it, would pray it though. The prayers did calm me but it still wasn’t there.

In the course of my study a verse begged the question – Do you trust God? Do you trust Him enough to know He has got you, therefore nothing will move you?

One verse brought peace, the much needed calm I had sought for a bit. As I took heed to me, I declared; God I trust you – truly do, even in my mind.

© 27th November, 2016

PS: The hymn ‘Tis So Sweet To Trust In Jesus is my song for the now and always.

In His words and wisdom
There’s safety, health and many years
Listen and obey His plea
For His principles He honours always

In His words and wisdom
There’s guidance for each day and situation
Let them lead you He says
For therein lies the protection you need

In His words and wisdom
There’s sight and light for every circumstance
Get it and guard it He advises
Then shall your path be straight and clear

In His words and wisdom
There’s all we need to know Him better
Know it and live it out always
For therein is our faith grown and His will revealed.

© 5th June 2016

Take up your arms and fight
Draw the battle line
Remember the violent take it by force
Everything is suspect, everyone is suspect
There are no grey areas
White or black, for me or against me

Don’t back down, don’t retreat
Victory lives at the end in sight
There is a crown to all who overcome
So I dig my heels in
I take my place, I do my bit
The battle is of the Lord
Fight I shall

© 22nd February 2016.

Alphabets, letters
Words, phrases and sentences
All tools of my creativity

Thought, spoken
Sang, written and exclaimed
All expressions of me

Or just one of it
It is a this or that daily
All choices constantly made

He spoke, it was
His thoughts established also
Thoughts words, words and thoughts
Tongue, mouth
Thoughts, heart and mind
All vehicles of my words

Gently, harsh
Loving, sweet bitter morsels
Foods I chew upon daily.

They are my now
My future and destiny
For in them is power still unravelling.

© 18th October, 2015
Copyrighted Itse Tosanwumi