Archives for posts with tag: Choices

Knowing the next steps did not make it any easier, I knew, I knew with a calmness and peace only He could give. Knowing came much quickly than I envisaged. Having to choose between two loves rubbed on me the wrong way. I love law, I choose law, fell out and then fell back in love with it, I love admin, it comes natural to me. After months of combining same, I had not pictured a future of one without the other. But I knew, having to choose which one, i would let go of somewhat.

Yet I struggled, oh how I struggled, why did I not embrace it? My thoughts… I firmly believed (do not ask me how and why), that there was a conspiracy to frustrate me (No, that’s truly how I saw it). Life had been good, beautiful and dandy, my birth month the prior year brought one too many needless clashes. Some days I mused, if I only understood why? Our paths were different.

I spoke to myself, “you are not your chosen field” that’s not you! An expression perhaps, but certainly not you. My emotions where a roller coaster, up one day, deeply suspicious and distrustful the next. Knowing the clouds of suspicion and distrust blinded my view did not help. Through dimmed eyes to guard my soul, I nit-picked every word and action. Questions flowed within me, ‘if the one you trust, trusts them, surely you can, right? But still…

The Word was my source of stability and sanity, no room for negative emotions, my watchword to not throw petty parties. One thing I did learn, pettiness is not cool and an unacceptable response for a messenger. Surely my Mirror never was petty.

Daily I battled, the dying the flesh was in moments. God’s view point kept me from losing it. I hung on to His word, for I knew therein only I found sanity. My medium of expression thinned, my dance on the fringe of explosion widened. This was not the plan. Did I have a right to feel betrayed? I mean, God had showed me the path to walk, why fight the vessels used to prompt the way to go? But I fought.
My body language roared rage, did I doubt God? No! Was His will desirable? Very much so. Yet there was in me that which fought what I perceived to be the forceful taking away of all I had chosen without conscience. A part was willingly, yet another was poised for battle.

So, pride had to die, flesh had to be put under, all other voices silenced, in the place of study and communion. It has been a journey, I am not fully there yet but the struggle is less than a few months back.

© 9th July, 2018

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Recently I waged an internal battle whether to repay in response to another’s behaviour, or be a child of my Father God. So many thoughts went round around my head but for and against. I had several emotions I dealt with regarding the encounter, upset did not quite capture my feelings (whether justified or not, is another matter). So, I spoke to myself and encourage me to love the ‘unloveable’. I do not understand someone not being honest Before the day was up I queried myself, is there really any such thing as an unlovable person? Where and how did I come about such a term? This is my battle in lines.

Is it a phrase?
Is this my race?
There is so much going on within
Silence is my choice
Mind my walls a poise
I need to figure this out alone
Thoughts, hurt, anger swirled in my mind

You see distrust lurks
There’s a question clock
Might I be reading it all wrong?
Why smile and stab?
Who gives what they can’t take?

I am called
Yea I am picked
Surely, I can choose this route.
It ceased to be about me
For another I live my days
So why then do I struggle?

It is me,
This is who I am.
Choosing to withhold fractures me
These are His too I muse.
Unplug my heart
The pathway is always love.

©16th of May, 2018

In this era of social media bloom, where the world has become one big compound, who we follow is important.

The rate at which fads crop up is just as fast as the rate at which information goes viral. There are so many situations, so many courses, many fashion sense, raves and bandwagons calling out to us.

In this era of many voices and words, it takes depth to rightly discern who to respond to and who to follow back.

Suddenly the dividing lines of more, immoral seems a lot blurrier than it did years back. Things are now not really black and white as we knew them. It is a case of discerning between light and Light.

It is a whole lot easier to follow when the options range is between apples and oranges. It is however, a different exam when the option is between denomination revelation and God’s revelation with both sounding in the language of christianese*.

Oh! how much easier it would be if the medium of communication was not one you looked up to.

A passionate genuine please – see your sister, do as she has done. The sincere care and love beneath the plea was unfeigned. In hindsight for the ladies and as a lesson to us, do we see the vast contrast of the passionate plea and God’s purpose?

Ruth followed the God of Naomi in a daring defiance to the culture of her days. The popular opinion did not sway her, the choices of her peers did not colour her choice.

I probably may not fully comprehend the root of Ruth’s choice. One thing is sure, just as there is a Spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty which gives understanding and direction, who we follow, determines the way our lives will go.

© 17th June 2017.

Christianese* Christian language

On earth years and years ago, two cousins needed to stop living together for they had both grown individually in property and servants.

The Egbon gave his Aburo the choice of picking his location first. So he looked and saw a good land, a well-watered plain. It was so good that it was compared to be like the Garden of Eden. The first garden that ever was.

As far as he could see, it was just perfect for his flock and all. The choicest location in sight. There he moved. Before Maker, before God, the people of the good land were exceedingly wicked and sinful.

They were a sign of things to come. First they rebelled against the nation they were colonised by. In an ensuing war, they lost the battle. Aburo and all he had were taken captive. Egbon and his war men rescued Aburo and all he had.

Then came the judgement from God. Egbon’s intercession saved Aburo & his two virgin daughters. His loss included his married daughters, sons-in-laws, vast property, livestock and servants.

As far as Aburo had seen the best choice was taken by him. From God’s vantage point it was not. For people did determine the type of land it truly was.

As we make choices this day, may they be fully aligned with God’s sight and choice.

*It was recorded that we who would be years upon years after shall learn from it.

© 19th November 2015

“Then Lot chose him all the plain of Jordan”

He chose, and based on what is described, he chose well. To the natural eyes, he really did chose well. His choice was measured by his sight – good land.

God saw the land, He also saw the people. Aha! God sees it all. The wickedness and sin of the men of the land Sodom was exceedingly before God.

The land of a good choice, by the people the same land was a wrong choice. For due the people, he choice got him Lot and all he had captive. Eventually, the people cost him all he had, even his wife.

What informs our choices? Who guides our choices?

Let the Lord lead us along the best pathway for our lives.

© 17th November, 2015

Today I went on a trip and watched as choices were made by a group of people. I came to the conclusion that, who we are in one aspect of our lives, spills over to every other aspect without warning. Over the years, I have come to realise that I am a task master. With a little patience for excuses of any sort, I demand the best from people I meet.

One thing struck me firmly; it is easy to decipher the character of people by small actions. Someone who is lackadaisical towards being on time for any activity is more likely to place no honour on words they speak. Seeing that actions override the words we speak most and generally; they are truly who we are. Thus, if you are careless in one area of life, you are most generally careless in all other areas of your life.

Timing has a role to play in the way we do what we do. Should we do a noble cause at the wrong time, the timing automatically defeats the purpose of the noble cause. Thus, a noble cause is not noble all alone; the time frame in which it is carried out is a defining factor of its nobility.

© 12th February 2014

God has not given us the Spirit of fear, but the Lord has given us the Spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind and discipline II Tim 1:7. To be afraid is sin because fear is a sign of the absence of faith. (By this I mean fear that has taken root in our hearts) For the Bible enjoins us to walk by faith and not by sight. And is it written: ’he who knows what to do and does not do it, unto him it is sin.

All times when fear is present, we are walking according to sight. We’re letting our circumstances speak over the Word. Fear is a sign that we are not trusting God to fulfil that which He has spoken to us, for at that point we are not looking at Him but at the waves. Matt 14:30. It is a sign that we are not trusting God then that He is who He says He is: I AM. The manifestation of the working of the Holy Spirit in me is also evidenced by the absence of fear.

For where fear is not, faith is and the work of the Holy Spirit finds an open channel or vessel to manifest to maximum. Without faith it is impossible to please God. Heb 11:6. Living in faith is not an alternative life style for a Christian BUT it is THE LIFE style of every Christian. It is our culture. When we walk by faith we walk in line with God’s will for living here on earth.
Thus having the eyes of our heart being enlightened, flooded with light Eph 1:18. Then we can boldly call forth those things that be not as though they were and I truly believe that they shall were.

We grow in faith through the Word. For faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Wold of God. Rom 10:17. Faith is action before thought, not after thought. Thought in this sense is used to mean human reasoning. And human reasoning cannot comprehend the things of the Spirit. Faith in all of its workings is spiritual, which affects the physical daily.
The place of faith is where God reveals Himself. If the three (3) Hebrew men had not stepped into the fire, they would not have experienced the presence of the fourth man. Dan 3: 18-25

What we let into our heart, through the two doors of our eyes and ears determines in what side of the divide we will walk in. For just as faith is fed and nurtured by the Word of God, fear is fed by the natural senses, whichever we choose to believe or accept.

Who are you listening to?

07 September, 2013