Distrust

I am not sure which rubbed off on me the wrong way, the fact that I had never envisaged this or having to choose between two roles I enjoyed and loved. The reason was quite logical, “for your career growth plan, you need to let go of one”. No, you cannot hold unto the two roles. That hurt, it was a tough call, I fought the idea of letting go of one. I did pick one, but suspicion was my initial response to things from two particularly colleagues (Somewhere in my head, i just felt this did not come from a good place) It took me a while to accept my choice, I only made peace with it in July 2018.

Clouded vision
Coloured perception
Flawed decision
A bump along the road

High are the walls
My heart won’t fall
Position stiff tall
A smile with clenched fists

This is a change
The storm does rage
Many are but a range
A soul now shut tight

A search deep inward
To go as I ought forward
As my goal lies onward
A burden I must lay aside.

© 9th July, 2018

Eight Months Later

Same event. Different balance. Same players. Growth is evident.

It took a d’eja vu for me to recall the faithfulness of Him who said, ‘it would only get better because I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus’.

An unexpected event bust upon my after work life. With everyone home bound and even home in some cases, it fell on me to sort out. There just had to be a way, with every hour I looked for a path, my emotions swirled negativity to those responsible for this to-do.

Nerves calm. More mature emotionally. Same me. Different me. I scroll through messages and I am humbled at God’s work.

Same disruption, work missed that must be closed out, yet again office to handle request closed. Found ma pathway faster than before. I am in a good place, emotions all stable and positive. No hard feelings towards anyone.

October ten twenty seventeen and July ten twenty eighteen. It is brighter, more stable than the past. The things that got me agitated have been taken care off.

So, I look ahead, wondering what the next eight months would bring. How I would have matured further. With expectancy and excitement, I look forward to what He has in store for me. Knowing that most probably, anything which has me bothering on agitation now, would be a done deal.

You see, when He said it would only get brighter and brighter, He meant it. Eight months is too much a time to figure that out. Yet, somewhere in my living I missed something to be thankful for.

Timing. Better. Brighter. Future. Settled. Promise. Keeper. Eight Months Later my Father is ever still faithful and just.

© 10th July, 2018.