“Sometime last year I had a brief encounter with homelessness, for someone who things have a certain rhythm to that was a great challenge to everything I had known. I mean, I can envisage being without money, being without food, but not having a roof over my head, that was major. My mind did not just have the capacity to accommodate that. I did learn a number of things: focus is key, with God it is never for less, know what God has to say about each situation. I questioned whether i was a fair weather follower of God. I look back an thank God for being my sanity.”
In July 2017 my rent was due for renewal. I had known this for a year but was still not ready 100%. This was the month I decided to go into a preplanned investment I had brooded upon for years. So, all my funds were channelled towards the investment. I went all in to it.
A phone call from my landlord assured me that we were on the same path. One more year in the place, then we both moved. My flatmate and I were pleased. About two weeks later, my landlord called again, it was an early morning call, this time around, the dynamics had changed. We had about a month roughly to get a new place and move.
I refused to get worried, informed my flatmate and allayed her fears. It was not a sure decision as it came from a place of disagreement with the overall landlord to force him to be responsible. The third call came and it became sure that we needed to move within two weeks ‘sigh!. I was till upbeat, miracles do happen.
House shopping began, we wanted to remain in the same location. It did not have flooding issues that has bedevilled Lagos Island. The location was just right for my early hours and sometimes late hours. Every other option we saw paled in comparison to where we needed to leave. Apparently, we had a really good deal with just enough space for our worldly goods. This we found out, as we began shopping.
At a point, it seemed trying to get the same size and as close as possible to the same rent within the same estate was going to take a miracle. We packed up our goods the weekend the landlord moved with his family. Then the pressure began to rear its head; landlord wanted the keys. Living out of packed bags does has its toll psychologically. As the negative thoughts seeped in, I fought back with phases such as this too shall pass soon. Shopping was no closer to perfect fit as expected. I expanded my shopping area from my preferred location, and began informing more people.
We made plans for the immediate, get people who would help keep our goods, hole up in other locations until we got the deal we desired. A kind pal was very generous and let me keep the bulk of my goods in her house. My flatmate got a place for hers. We did two nights like campers at our old place, sleeping on duvets and on a mat before we moved to enable the landlord to get the keys.
A friend asked we move into hers and stop sleeping on the floor. Two weeks into our stay in our mutual friend’s place, she closed out on a good deal which was a step to moving houses. Suddenly, the word homeless took on a new meaning for me. I turned my attention with more gusto to God in prayer, and began knocking and calling for help. “I can’t be homeless”, I reasoned within.
The very thought of being homeless, was my first point at acknowledging I had become depressed along the way. Internalising my emotions and not talking much help fuel the depression. I fought back the tears that came with each day with gusto. No, I would not let me sink, I encouraged me. So many questions I pondered upon, “when would He consider it in the nick of time and show up?” I inquired, I spoke less about my stormy emotions, as they swayed between being angry and that feeling of total helplessness. I spoke less, I walked around the house more reminding me of His faithfulness with scriptures, googled Bible studies on housing, I knocked much louder on heavens doors. I was determined not to drown,
All doors for potential good deals would creak open with a crack just right to get my hopes all high, finally! I would be settled I celebrated. Then close annoyingly silently, with phone calls not being picked by seconded agents. I just could not figure out why! With our mutual friend having moved the bulk of her worldly goods to her new place, I realised greatly I needed to get a new place to stay. Suddenly, where I had kept my goods, I now needed to move them too, my pal had plans for that room…it was pouring! My well-kept exterior was not bearing up that well at this point. Then there was the fact that my flatmate and I would not be moving together anymore as earlier planned. Now I was on my own. Alone. It suddenly wasn’t about getting a place alone, but extra money to cater to what I wanted.
Having stayed a couple of days extra beyond her initial move out date, our friends house was being stripped room by room in prep for remodelling. She hoped, we hoped, this would be sorted. On Wednesday September 6th, we decided as we prepped for work, that from work, we would get another stop place and so no return to her home. At work I almost came totally undone with the dam breaking, despite my attempts. A random event pulled all the tears I had neatly kept inside for a little over a month. To the question, what is wrong? I did not readily have a response, so much was going on internally. So, I as quietly stated through the down pour that I need a place to be just stable and not have my space challenged at work since I currently had no place of my own, I knew I needed a closure fast!
Got some days off work to have it sorted. That beautiful Wednesday evening I called a couple of friends, I need a place briefly. Then I got a yes to come spend a night or two, as I needed a place to lay my head while closing out on a good-looking deal. The thoughts of where I would put my goods hovered in my head. You see, on the Tuesday before this Wednesday, I had seen a lovely place, everything was just right but the price was beyond my budget. I asked for a reduction in service charge and awaited the landlord’s feedback. He had said he would get back to me, so we fixed a meeting for Thursday.
Thursday morning as I made my way to meet with the new landlord, yes new, in my head I would seal this deal. God came through for me, I got needed extra funds to be able to pay for the place. The meeting with the Landlord was okay, but insisted that he could not reduce the service charge. By Thursday evening, I had made payment and by night fall about 11pm I moved myself, my worldly goods into my new spot.
It had taken longer than I had wanted and imagined but as I lay on my mattress in my room yet unpacked, I was good. I did wonder was my dance with depression a sign of lack of faith that He would come through. Had I left the situation take charge of me? My knocks were answered so quickly within a week, and it made the roughly last eight weeks look like a shadow, the relief is beyond words. Today, (19th April 2018) as i reflect from July 2017 it has been seven months since I have been here. From the amenities to my relationship with my landlord and his family, it is an improved version of that which I left, one beyond my imagination.
I did learn, that when God shakes one suddenly from set plans and dates without warning, it is never for less. No matter how it looks or seems, though three streets after my former place, I have a better deal in every area. It was never for less.
© 7th October 2017.
itsewumi 